Sonic's Best Pal is a track appearing in Starbomb, being a parody of Sonic the Hedgehog.
Narrator: Hey kids, would you like to hear a fun story about Sonic and Tails?
Kids: Eat a dick!
Narrator: Great! Here we go!
Narrator: Sonic the Hedgehog, hero to all
When the world needed saving, he would answer the call
His little friend Tails a part of the team
But he was shitty and small, and had low self esteem
So when they gathered all the Chaos Emeralds
Tails hid them all under his genitals
He pawned them all in spending spree
For his crippling addiction to PCP
"Come on" Sonic said, "Let's go collect rings
And run through the meadow and jump on springs
We'll laugh and we'll play all day and all night
Why, your eyes are red, Tails, are you feeling alright?"
Tails: Yo, fuck your rings, Sonic, it's time to get real
I wanna kill a motherfucker just to see how it feels
If you dare to come at me, you better come at me strong
I'll break your sorry-ass legs if you look at me wrong
I'm Tails the fox, you little bitch, and I'm on the attack
My endocrine system is fucking riddled with crack
Now I've got hallucinations that are out of control
And I can taste colors, and I'm gonna skull fuck your soul
Sonic: Hey Tails, we've got fun times in store
What's the first thing you'd like to do today
Sonic: Ha, you're funny, we'll have a great time
There are lakes to swim in and mountains t-
Narrator: So, Sonic and Blaze played a game of lacrosse
While Tails slammed a bunch of sluts like a boss
He was about to bust nuts all up in a ho
When Robotnik showed up
Tails: Aw hell no!
Narrator: Tails knew he must defend the whole city
So he stopped doing blow on the hooker's stank titties
Sonic said "Robotnik you gosh darn clown
I'm gonna jump on you until you fall down"
Tails: Hey stand the fuck back, I've got a better solution
It's time for old school, street justice death execution
Robo-bitch, here's some motherfucking caps for your head
Blaow blaow, now that egg-shaped cocksucker's dead
I'm Tails the fox, do I have to fucking say it again
I am exploding with evil that you cannot comprehend
I just committed a murder, but there is no time to rest
Let's get our friends over, have a giant forest fuck fest
Narrator: Sonic was too traumatized to reply
It was the first time he'd ever seen another man die
But it wasn't the last
Tails made sure of that
When he broke Big's spine and wore his ass as a hat
Tails the fox, his mind is blown
And he'll kick you right in your special zone
I think I'm gonna call the cops on him
But he will never know about it
- gunshots and a slump is heard*