Starbomb Wiki

Regretroid is a track appearing in Starbomb, being a parody of Metroid.

The animated music video was released March 11, 2014, with no specific animator and was simply moving text.


The Narrator begins talking about the intergalactic bounty hunter Samus Aran, but offends her when he compliments her breasts. He then distracts her by alerting that Kraid is near by, who begins taunting Samus ( sung by Isabella Carson Joyce )and takes off her helmet to see the fear in her eyes. Surprised that she's a female, Kraid begins going easy on her and Samus begins to sing about how annoyed she gets when her foes refuses to fight her when they find out she's a girl. She ultimately blows up the entire planet.


Narrator: There was a bounty hunter in the depths of space
and she could easily combine your stupid ass with your face
Her name was Samus Aran and she would destroy metroids
When she wasn't totally pissed she was extremely annoyed
She stood up to every challenge no matter demanding
and her courage was amazing and her boobies were outstanding

Samus: WHAT?!

Narrator: Uh, nothing, I was just saying that you're brave
Um, okay, hey look over there, ha ha, it's KRAID

Kraid: I'm the strongest dragon that you've ever seen
You're gonna die motherfucker I take up five screens
I'm gonna swallow you whole and then you'll go down easy
Then you'll be digested and converted to feces
I'll take off your helmet see the fear in your eyes
and your beautiful hair and your well toned thighs
and your pillowy lips and WAIT you're not a guy?

Samus: Is that a problem, you fuck?

Kraid: Uh, no, prepare to die!

Narrator: Kraid was hesitating but Samus was set to fight
She got into a battle stance that made her butt look super tight
and Kraid said

Kraid: No wait I think there has been a gigantic mistake
I actually just wanted to give you some desserts that I baked

Narrator: But Samus said

Samus: What pisses me off most in this world
is that enemies get nice when they all find out I'm a girl
so do me a favor and take your cakes and your pies
and shove them so far up your ass that they end up behind your eyes
Stop treating me like I'm a sex object
Mother Brain's a woman but she gets respect

Mother Brain: Yeah Kraid you never talk to me that way

Kraid: Oh gosh I wonder if it's because you're a huge disgusting brain?

Samus: Get the fuck off my planet this is your last chance

Kraid: I'm gonna go ahead and slide out of my pants

Samus: That's it you're all fucking dead

Kraid: What? This room feels stuffy, by the way, do you like puppies? Here's a basket of puppies

  • Samus blows up the entire planet, killing everyone except herself*

Samus: Whoops. Killed the puppies.