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"Luigi's Ballad" is an original song performed by Starbomb, and is a part of the album of the same name. It is a parody of the Mario series and has an accompanying music video animated by Egoraptor.
Lyrics[]
Luigi:
Princess Peach,
Won't you listen to my speech?
I don't have any stars
Of invincibility
But you're the brightest star
In the sky tonight for me
I'm your Luigi
Mario:
What up bitch?
I got a 1-up bitch!
What's inside the question block?
It's my dick!
I's a-me-a-Mario
I'm more Italian than pastrami
I'll take you by the peaches
And give you the hard salami
I saved you from dragons
And evil Boos that are spooky
Must I be a raccoon
To get inside your tanooki?
I will mount you like Yoshi
And show you things you've never seen
My mushroom's now mega
If you know what I mean
So suck it!
Luigi:
Mario,
You always do this shit
I like a girl
And then you ruin it
By yelling stuff
About your dick
Until they go away
Peach:
Hey Luigi,
It's okay
That Mario's a bit risque
Just tell me what you need to say
Please don't be afraid
Luigi:
Oh princess,
It means so much for me
To hear you say that
The only thing I've ever
Wanted to tell you is that
Goddammit!
Mario:
I'm here to pleasure that ass
I'd like to go first Princess
But I always come last
And you say we'll get together
But I'm jacking off alone
Koopa Troopa skeletons
Aren't the only Dry Bones
I am tired of your runaround
It's such a fucking hassle
I go through shit and then you're in
Another fucking castle!
You gotta think about it?
Well I don't believe the hype
You'll have a lot of time to think
When you are smoking on my Warp Pipe
Peach:
O.M.G.
I can't decide
On which of you should be the guy
To take me on a mustache ride
That'll redefine my life
Luigi & Peach:
I'm ready to give love a shot
It's not about how many coins you've got
I just know I like you a lot
Mario:
Yo sluts, check out my yacht!
Luigi:
Let me take you on a magic kart ride
Mario:
I'll bust off your balloons
When I smack your backside
Luigi:
We'll have such fun,
I'll bring my friends along
Mario:
I'll kick that Donkey Kong
Right in his konkey dong
Come on, Peach
It's time to make your choice
I'm the only plumber
That can make your boobies rejoice
Green lanky-ass brother
Ain't got shit on me
It's time to live out our story
Of the princess an the pea-nis
So, who's it gonna be, Princess?
Peach:
I choose... Toad
Mario & Luigi:
Toad?!
Peach:
Well, his whole body's shaped like a dick
Mario & Luigi:
Ooooh
Oh yeah
Mmmm
Ok
Yeah, definitely
Mushrooms look like dicks