Starbomb Wiki
"It's Dangerous to Go Alone"
It's Dangerous to Go Alone.png
General information
Released December 17, 2013
Length 2:41
Album Starbomb
Previous Current Next
Luigi's Ballad It's Dangerous to Go Alone Mega Marital Problems
Music video

"It's Dangerous to Go Alone" is an original song performed by Starbomb, and is a part of the album of the same name. It is a parody of the The Legend of Zelda series and has an accompanying music video animated by Joel C.


Aww yeah

My name is Link, y'all
I'm straight outta Hyrule
Been on the force of good
Since 1986 - old school

I'm bringing you a laid back
Summertime jam

Old Man:
Hold on a minute, Link!

Hey, what's up, Old Man?

Old Man:
I see that you're embarking
On another epic quest
You're gonna use your ocarina
To rescue the Princess

But you'll need a magic weapon
That'll never ever miss
It's dangerous to go alone
Take this

Thanks, Old Man!
That is really very nice,
I can always count on you
For help and friendly advice

Though I've never seen a sword
Of quite that shape or size
Oh god that's not a sword!
It's your dick in disguise

Old Man:
Yes, I can't lie
I have pained my shween
Now grab your destiny
If you know what I mean

Wait a minute, Link
Don't leave the cave
Where do you think you're going?

This is a great chance
To fondle old scrotum
That you're blowing!

That was weird
But whatever
There is no time to lose
I've got to warp right now to Zelda
In this chilled out groove

Wait, this isn't Ganon's lair
I'm in Liberty City
This place looks just like Philadelphia
But even more shitty

I'm at the corner of Dead Cop
And Prostitute Junction
Something in my ocarina must have
Gone and malfunctioned

I gotta fix it quickly
There is justice to do!

Old Man:
Hold on a minute, Link

Old Man, is that you?

Old Man:
This is a place you can't survive
With just your sword and your wits
It's dangerous to go alone
Take this!

Well that's really kind of-
That's your wrinkled dick again!
Look I know I wear a tunic
But I'm not into men!

Old Man:
Don't be that way, bitch
Let me introduce you
To my three best friends
Mr. Johnson and the Juice Crew

If you see the Princess Zelda
Well, you knows your gonna grab her
So why don't you try to come grab
My inflatable poo jabber

Oh my god!
I gotta warp out of here
Princess Zelda awaits
I must defeat Ganondorf
Before it gets too late

Ok, now I really
Don't know where I am...
Old Man:
Hold on a minute, Link!

Goddammit, Old Man!

Old Man:
You're in Raccoon City
It's a zombie abyss
It's dangerous to go alone

Fuck you!
Fuck you!
I'm not giving you a-
I'm not touching your ween!
Stop the chilled out groove!
I come in here
You tell me you've got
A wee wee weapon!
It's not cool! Not gonna touch it!
I'm not gonna-

Old Man:
So is that "no" on the handjob or?