Starbomb Wiki
"I Choose You to Die"
I Choose You to Die.png
General information
Released December 17, 2013
Length 1:59
Album Starbomb
Previous Current Next
N/A I Choose You to Die Luigi's Ballad
Music video

"I Choose You to Die" is an original song performed by Starbomb, and is a part of the album of the same name. It is a parody of the Pokemon series and has no accompanying music video.


Yeah, yeah
Egoraptor, Ninja Sex Party
Gotta catch 'em all!
Smell my balls!

Yo, what up bitch?
I'ma tell you a tale
'Bout how Ash Ketchum
Got his ass sent to jail

Beat the Elite Four
Won the tournament war
But he just couldn't get
The same rush as before

Fat and depressed,
His life had gone south
So he turned to Pikachu
And then he punched him in the Meowth

He felt so alive,
He felt so real
He beat all his Pokemon
With his fists of Registeel

He got arrested
For domestic violence
It was a crazy motherfucking
Cacturne of events

He said that Pika's bruises
Happened on the stairs when he fell
The cops said "Granbull-shit!"
And threw that bitch in a cell

Rock on!
This is a fucked up tale of Pokemon
Gone wrong, gone wrong
That's right!
This shit is tight
When Egoraptor's at the mic

Ash was in trouble as soon as he arrived
He Magnemite not make it out of prison alive
His lawyer ran in what a big state trooper
Bringing fiery news, like Charmanderson Cooper
"It's your lucky day, Pika posted your bail!"
So Ash found his little friend outside of the jail
But Pikachu was different, he had mentally snapped
Ash was Chandelured into his deadly trap
Pika pulled out a gun, and then he said with a cry
"Suck a yellow dick, bro! I choose you... to die!"
"Don't do it!" yelled Ash, "you know I got your back!"
But Pika pulled the trigger, and shot him twice in the sack.

Holy fuck!
I don't know if you've been shot in the nuts
Spoiler: it sucks
And oh Squirtle!
Gotta catch 'em all!
But they might just ruin your balls
And poor Misty!
Again and Agengar
She'll have Ghastly screams
That Haunter dreams,
But you want more!
And if you don't
We'll beat your ass
Til it's Bulbasaur