Sonic's Best Pal

Sonic's Best Pal is a track appearing in Starbomb, being a parody of Sonic the Hedgehog.

Lyrics
Narrator: Hey kids, would you like to hear a fun story about Sonic and Tails?

Kids: Eat a dick!

Narrator: Great! Here we go!

Narrator: Sonic the Hedgehog, hero to all When the world needed saving, he would answer the call His little friend Tails a part of the team But he was shitty and small, and had low self esteem So when they gathered all the Chaos Emeralds Tails hid them all under his genitals He pawned them all in spending spree For his crippling addiction to PCP "Come on" Sonic said, "Let's go collect rings And run through the meadow and jump on springs We'll laugh and we'll play all day and all night Why, your eyes are red, Tails, are you feeling alright?"

Tails: Yo, fuck your rings, Sonic, it's time to get real I wanna kill a motherfucker just to see how it feels If you dare to come at me, you better come at me strong I'll break your sorry-ass legs if you look at me wrong I'm Tails the fox, you little bitch, and I'm on the attack My endocrine system is fucking riddled with crack Now I've got hallucinations that are out of control And I can taste colors, and I'm gonna skull fuck your soul

Sonic: Hey Tails, we've got fun times in store What's the first thing you'd like to do today

Tails: WHORES!

Sonic: Ha, you're funny, we'll have a great time There are lakes to swim in and mountains t-

Tails: WHORES!

Narrator: So, Sonic and Blaze played a game of lacrosse While Tails slammed a bunch of sluts like a boss He was about to bust nuts all up in a ho When Robotnik showed up

Tails: Aw hell no!

Narrator: Tails knew he must defend the whole city So he stopped doing blow on the hooker's stank titties Sonic said "Robotnik you gosh darn clown I'm gonna jump on you until you fall down"

Tails: Hey stand the fuck back, I've got a better solution It's time for old school, street justice death execution Robo-bitch, here's some motherfucking caps for your head Blaow blaow, now that egg-shaped cocksucker's dead I'm Tails the fox, do I have to fucking say it again I am exploding with evil that you cannot comprehend I just committed a murder, but there is no time to rest Let's get our friends over, have a giant forest fuck fest

Narrator: Sonic was too traumatized to reply It was the first time he'd ever seen another man die But it wasn't the last Tails made sure of that When he broke Big's spine and wore his ass as a hat Tails the fox, his mind is blown And he'll kick you right in your special zone I think I'm gonna call the cops on him But he will never know about it OH FUCK!


 * gunshots and a slump is heard*